Befriending the Mind

HOW TO STOP FIGHTING THE MIND AND HAVE FUN INSTEAD

Tommy Acierno

Copyright © 2023 Tommy Acierno Enterprises,  LLC.

All rights reserved

This document may be reproduced in part but please give attribution and request permission of the copyright owner first.

Website: www.tommyacierno.com
Email: tommy@tommyacierno.com

Cover Design: Opening Gate Design www.canva.com/p/openinggatedesign/

To Brooke, Brayden, and Owen. Your minds shine like the sun and inspire me every day.

Contents

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Epigraph

Introduction

Chapter 1 - Minfulness

Chapter 2 - Miraculous Mind

Chapter 3 - Body

Chapter 4 - Memory

Chapter 5 - Misunderstanding

Chapter 6 - Imagination

Chapter 7 - Frenemy

Chapter 8 - Dreams

Chapter 9 - Relationships

Chapter 10 - Play

Chapter 11 - The Mind And You

Chapter 12 - Perfection

Chapter 13 - A Force

Chapter 14 - Death

Chapter 15 - Heart

Chapter 16 - The Beginning

EPILOGUE

About The Author

Praise For Author

Books By This Author

“He should raise the self by the Self; let him not suffer the Self to be lowered; for Self is the friend of self, and, in like manner, self is its own enemy.”

Krishna, Chapter 6, Bhagavad-Gita

Introduction

What is mind?

What is the nature of the mind?

Why do we even have a mind if it seems to be the source of all suffering in our lives?

These are the questions that I asked myself, and I wasn’t satisfied with the answers. You see, I’ve spent most of my adult life reading, consuming, and attempting to understand spirituality, consciousness, and conscious living.

Yet these deep and profound questions about the mind seemed to linger in my...well...mind.

There was a trend that I noticed, however. Nearly all of the spiritual teachings, meditations, courses, classes, and books seem to hint at the same solution: eliminate personal suffering by transcending the mind. To some, transcending the mind means to eliminate the mind. To others, this means that the mind is released, quietly observed like watching a toddler throw a tantrum, or left alone, barely noticed, without attachment or identity.

Yet the mind is the one object of human awareness that gets the most attention. How could we either ignore or unattach from it? How is it that out of all of the Universe's creations, the mind is the one thing we decided is the problem and needs to be eliminated, let go, or transcended?

Imagine if we decided that the sense of smell was the source of all personal suffering. Some try to transcend smell; they notice smells, but quickly let them go and move on to the other senses. Or what if others attempt to ignore their sense of smell (especially “bad” smells) and deny its existence in the service of reducing mental pain and suffering. In a lot of ways, this is how most of us have treated the mind — myself included!

Unsatisfied with my experience of the mind and all of the brilliant ideas, teachings, and philosophies that have stretched across human history, I found myself perplexed.

I understand transcendence and non-attachment, but why is it still missing from my experience? When I asked myself this question, I got a lot of “not enough” answers. I haven’t meditated enough, read enough, been present enough, my level of consciousness is not high enough, and so on and so forth. With this “not enough” mentality, it seemed like candy for my mind. It was an opportunity to mentally bash myself, again and again, over and over, in ways that felt terrible.

There’s got to be a different way, I thought.

If not a different way, perhaps, an in-between step that I’m missing but haven’t heard anyone discuss. Maybe there’s an approach to working with the mind that is simple, novel, and more accessible. My curiosity in an alternative approach led to the creation of this book: Befriending the Mind. The idea that the mind is something that can be embraced and loved like a friend. Something that we can all interact with in a way that is fun, exciting, adventurous, but also has productive boundaries just like any healthy relationship.

The idea that the mind is no longer viewed as a great cosmic mistake, a faux pas of evolution, creation, or whichever human story you most resonate with.

So I got to work, but in a rather unique way. In addition to exploring human potential and consciousness, I’ve discovered a rather interesting ability. If you are not familiar with the concept of “channeling,” it refers to the ability to tap into a great source of knowledge and wisdom that can then be translated into concepts and ideas through a human vessel who’s called the channeler. Some call the source of channeling the “collective unconscious,” the “Akashic records,” “stream of consciousness,” or the “higher self” — I simply call it wisdom. I discovered my ability to channel this wisdom based on a prompt from a former coach of mine. She asked me to have a conversation with my higher consciousness. Using typing (some people channel verbally or in other languages), words entered my awareness one at a time. Interestingly, the next word refused to appear in my consciousness until the first word was written down.

So I wrote one word.

And then another.

And another.

As a result, tens of thousands of words have flown out of my fingers and onto the computer screen using this process. Wisdom for myself, others, articles, blogs, meditations, my first book, and of course, this book.

This book, however, is a bit different.

When I channel, typically, I go into a very relaxed, semi-conscious state. For a while, my eyes had to be closed (which was a huge bummer when my cursor jumped, and I started typing in the middle of a random paragraph further up the page). Over time, I could channel with my eyes partially open. With this book, my conscious self felt much more present, my eyes opened wider, and I noticed that the language felt more like a blend of my own writing style and the channeled wisdom. You’ll notice that the narrator in this writing refers to themselves as “we.” They talk about me, Tommy, in the third-person or as “the author.” They also talk about “humans” more than they talk about “us,” “ourselves,” or “people.” This is not to suggest that the source of wisdom is some kind of alien intelligence (though for some channelers that is exactly the case). I’ve asked questions about who is behind this wisdom, and though they’ve given some hints, they mostly say, “we are you and you are us.” And, honestly, that answer works for me.

By tapping into my desire for answers about the nature of the mind and my ability to channel wisdom, it’s my pleasure to share this book with you.

Now, the destiny for humanity may, indeed, be to transcend and evolve beyond the mind. This book is in no way meant to replace thousands of years of spiritual teachings, presume that they are wrong, or presume that they are correct either. This approach is simply an alternate way up the mountain; a path that has seen far fewer travelers. We’re still getting to the same place: internal balance, peace, unreasonable happiness, ever-new joy, and perhaps even bliss. And it is my sincerest hope that by learning to befriend the mind, you too get to enjoy the deepest part of your being.

Love, Light, and Warm Wishes,

Tommy Acierno, February 2023

Chapter 1 - Minfulness

In the realm of the mind, there exists a barrier for so many people. They assume that there is too much (or too little) within the contents of the mind. The mind is an instrument, a projection of being. Imagine that you are light. The mind is the projector, projecting images upon the screen of life. You see with your eyes and you hear with your ears, but the mind is the one that brings these stimuli to life. Within the mind, there exists a terrible and awesome power: the power to influence, inspire, and ensnare.

Within the mind, people, places, and things appear to exist. Of course, these are illusions in the sense that they do not really exist any more. Meaning, all the memories and impressions still remaining in the mind are simply electrical impulses; there to be used for a very special purpose.

The mind remembers so that it can learn from its experiences. The mind wants to know what to embrace and what to avoid in the spirit of survival. It is important for the mind to remember what hot things feel like, what happens to things that fall, what happens to a human body when it is cut, healed, or when it is born and when it dies. These things are important. They inform the present moment and present decisions. Because of the mind, people are given the information they need in order to survive.

So let us take a look, then, at what happens in the mind in more “modern” times. The mind is still learning, observing, formulating, and grasping at concepts, ideas, and precepts. There’s a certain way of operating in the world that, statistically, or generally, will keep you alive long enough to reproduce. This very basic biology and behavior can be observed in any number of lifeforms on the planet Earth. However, when the attention and observation of life includes movies, music, politics, language, ideas, technology, different forms of life and light, and so many other new kinds of stimuli, the mind is struggling to keep up!

The mind is the proverbial cup of tea that is overflowing while the teapot continues to pour anyway.

Having an empty mind seems to be the pursuit of so many mystics, spiritualists, and even the “day-to-day” lay person. No longer is mindfulness (a wonderfully ironic term) limited to a few humble practitioners of certain religions, regions, or demographics. You can find any number of meditations online. There are apps. There are meetups. There are University-level degrees that explore mindfulness in business, work, and in education.

Mindfulness for all!

Yet, what is the drive behind these pursuits? Why do so many seek the mindfulness state?

We are overwhelmed and overburdened with an increasingly active mind. And what is more, this is something that society has learned to capitalize on. This is not a criticism of capitalism or of any particular organization. This is simply an observation of how the overwhelmed state – common in so many people – is understood and exploited in some circumstances, such as advertising.

Some may wonder if this book is attempting to do the same! Create a compelling title and fill it with more information, tactics, techniques, concepts, and ideas on how to finally stop fighting with the mind and start befriending it. Perhaps it is and perhaps it is not. The necessity to debate is not all that relevant. What is relevant is the pursuit of something real. Something tangible. Something that brings true freedom and liberation to all.

The irony is that this is something that only recently eludes the human population.

For millions of years, humans, in all of its variations, have learned to befriend and have a balanced relationship with the mind. It is only in recent times that mental activity has exponentially grown (perhaps in correlation to population growth — a topic for another time).

When humans used to exist within a balanced ecosystem of life, the mind was an incredible tool. It has learned from observation. It recognized the shifting of the winds, the sky, the sun, the stars, the terrain. It followed the life patterns of plants, animals, and all manner of life in the world. It observed, learned, and then started to do something truly extraordinary. The mind began to generate ideas, insights, and innovations. Humans were capable of creating new forms of technology unlike anything seen or displayed by any other creature. The human mind was capable of inventing new ways of interacting, hunting, sleeping, studying, learning, growing, feeding, and improving in some form or fashion all elements of human life. Sure, birds could build nests, and beavers could build dams. But humans were capable of building structures, vast areas, and use these for tracking seasons, the sun, and the stars. A remarkable feat that, ironically, few humans are trained to achieve today.

So with this incredible capacity for innovation, the mind was recognized as a treasured, powerful, indispensable tool.

It was only natural for early humans to wonder, “What else can the mind do?”

It seems to be able to dream, to develop language, to communicate. It could be aware of emotions and start to label them. It could tell stories, learn from others, and begin the process of conceptualizing self-realization (self-realization was existent all along, but conceptualizing and describing it was new).

So the mind took off. It was fed with all of these new ideas, concepts, beliefs, opportunities, and joy, excitement, bliss soon followed. The mind could do anything (much like the excitement around plastic when it was first invented – it too could do anything!).

Chapter 2 - Miraculous Mind

There will be a time, and a time will come, when we all view the mind as a precious jewel. A timeless masterpiece. Perhaps one of the greatest expressions of the Universe.

Think about it...

From the time of the Big Bang, gas and clouds of dust were all that really filled the Universe. Throughout a very complex series of steps over a very long period of time, there was enough sophistication in the evolution of life to allow the phenomenon known as ‘mind’ to exist.

The mind is not a mistake. Despite what so many traditions and popular cultures and opinions try to convince you of otherwise.

You are not a mistake. Mind is not a mistake. Emotions are not a mistake.

You, your mind, and your emotions are, perhaps, some of the grandest, greatest, and most beautiful expressions of creation throughout the history of the Universe.

Re-read that last sentence one more time and allow the scope of what we are really talking about to sync into your conscious being. You are magnificent. And that is not a platitude. Simply reconnect, once more, with the fact that what you are able to perceive, receive, and create is nothing short of miraculous. As this author, Tommy, once told himself, “I’m done thinking of myself as anything less than miraculous.” This statement was not a proclamation of ego. This was not Tommy saying that he is the “best,” or “better” than everyone else. This was a moment (a moment we want to share with you now) of realization — actualization of truth — that you are nothing short of miraculous. Treasure that always (if you choose; it is there for you when you want it).

Returning to the miracle of mind, think about it for a moment. There was a time when you had no mind. The time before you were born. The brain creates the mind and mind creates the brain. No brain; no mind. And vice versa. Without this remarkable symbiotic relationship, this entire conversion is not happening. You require a brain, filled with knowledge about language and words, and a mind with which to perceive and extract, place, and recognize meaning in all that has been written. And you repeat this process thousands of times every day — millions, perhaps billions, of times over a lifetime.

Again, what we are doing here is creating a sense of scale for what the true implications of mind really are. You did not have to purchase a mind. You did not have to accomplish some goal or climb some mountain. You had to do one thing that was entirely out of your control to begin with: you were born.

Mind tells us that things are what they are, but the stories that the mind tells are indirect, subjective, and prone to interpretation. When you dream, you dream in story. It is no wonder that humanity developed a taste and love for stories. Every night, even in the days prior to formalized language in humanity, dreams were still being dreamt. Stories came across the stage of the mind, tickling the senses of sight, sound, sensation, feeling, taste, and perhaps touch. The mind was there to receive it all, like a great, grand radio.

Mind was there, a constant companion, a great friend.

And that is what we’re here to do. To build the case, to stand up and say to the world, “the mind is worthy of our love!” Because it is. The mind is as worthy of love as you are, as the tree outside your window, as the flora, fauna, atmosphere, space, stars, gas, and the whole of the Universe. This is our home. This is where we all belong. If there is no Universe, you are not here. If there is no atmosphere, you are not here. If there is no mind, you are not here.

Now this is a great point to pivot and make some suggestions and points of clarity.

Many spiritual and mindfulness approaches teach a path to experience life with no mind or with the absence of mind. So let us go down this path together and see how we can have both a mind and also be mindful.

Imagine that you can check your entire mind and mental thoughts “at the door.” In other words, take a moment now, even if it is for a fraction of a second, and allow yourself to be devoid of thought or beliefs. You have no sense of identity. No gender, race, or any sort of label. Do not worry, any and all labels that are important to you are not going away. You are simply setting them down for a moment, as if they are being placed in a backpack that you are carrying.

In this moment, for just a fraction of a second, just be. Be completely label-free and thought-free.

Go ahead. We’ll wait....

Welcome back. Please pick up your backpack of thoughts, beliefs, and labels and continue to carry them as proudly (or as begrudgingly) as you would like.

What did you notice? Did you die? No, so what does this mean? It means that a human being can continue to exist, breath, and retain life even in the absence of any and all thoughts, beliefs, or labels that a person carries. You will always survive any time you choose to let go of your mind and place no attention on it whatsoever. You will survive.

Many disciplines believe that this is the way to live. That this is the ultimate expression of humanity and, perhaps, spirituality. And we love this, we truly do. We see absolutely nothing wrong with this ambition. It is not a mistake, by any stretch of the imagination. What we are here to do, however, is to simply offer an alternative approach.

Instead of striving to exist and live life with the absence of mind (meaning, with virtually no conscious awareness focused on what the mind thinks), we offer the solution of befriending the mind. To treat it like the great cosmic companion that it is. To say, “Hello mind. I love you. You are a dear friend. You have thought some incredibly shocking, wild, exciting, terrifying, disgusting, and pleasurable things. And I love it all. I find it fascinating. What you do amazes me. And I want to be friends with you.”

Chapter 3 - Body

The mind is not the only part of you that can be befriended. In fact, there is more than simply you with which to befriend. We are talking about the body, of course.

The mind and the body have such a fascinating connection. Let us ask you this: Do you find that the body has demands and makes requests of the mind or does the mind have demands and make requests of the body?

For so many, their minds demand that the body “do this,” “do not do that,” “eat this,” “do not eat that.” When, in fact, the body is a sentient, self-sufficient entity all unto itself. Think about it, do you have to think about your heart rate, blood pressure, immune response, generating new cells, destroying old or damaged cells? The body is truly brilliant in its orchestration of activity. On top of all of this amazing work, there is the mind making further requests.

Now is the time, the opportunity, to invite the mind to befriend the body and vice versa.

Tune into your body. Tune into your mind. Notice them both. Recognize their power and being. Imagine that you are a friend working to reconcile the relationship between these two other friends that just got into a fight. Invite the body and mind to shake hands, make up, be friendly, and be kind to each other.

Allow the body and the mind to do what they do best: let the body be a body and let the mind be a mind.

And then hang out together. Befriend them all. Invite them to a party in their honor. They are precious guests. They are a sacred duo. Again, a deep symbiotic relationship truly exists between these two powerful entities. It is a relationship, to most, that is very one sided and demanding. It is no wonder that it seems to so many that the body turns it is back on the mind. So many demands. So many requests. So many expectations. Imagine having a friendship like that. Imagine being on the receiving end of so many demands, expectations, and requests. Imagine being on the other end and the exhaustion that comes from demanding so much from someone (or something) else.

The body is a treasured vessel of light. Modern science has literally developed the technology to detect the light that emanates from the body [see https://www.bio-well.com/ for more information]. You can even have a picture of this light taken and shown to you. The research on the implications of this light and what it means to your overall health and wellbeing is well underway.

Coming back to the mind and its relationship to the body. The mind, for many, seeks so much pleasure and avoids so much pain. This is perfectly understandable. This is, of course, a core feature of the mind. Over millions of years, this innate drive allowed the body to flourish. Seeking pleasure, for such a long time, often meant health, wellness, survival, connection, and so on. This has not changed simply because millions of years have past and now humans have computers, and blow dryers, and TicTok. The mind and body still seek fundamental pleasures and avoid fundamental pains (for example, it is still important to avoid touching very hot things).

But an evolution has occurred. There is an understanding of pleasure that is very deep and full of variety. Now pleasure comes in the form of foods, subjective cultural norms such as what beauty is supposed to be, various drinks, visual stimulation from movies, audio stimulation from music, and on it goes. In fact, these are all examples of how powerful the mind really is. Each one of those stimuli was, at one point, an idea in someone’s mind brought to fruition. It is a marvel to behold exactly what the mind is capable of imagining and then through the power of will (and with generous support from the body) is able to create.

The mind does its job of filtering, recognizing, organizing, and prioritizing pleasure and avoiding pain. The mind recognizes life situations in which pleasure or pain are present. From this place, commands are then sent to the body. The body responds as a dutiful servant. But only for a period of time. Eventually, a command is bequeathed from the mind and the body either refuses or cannot comply. And what is the result? Pain. Pain in the mind from its lost opportunity with pleasure (or inability to avoid pain). And pain from the body, literally. And so begins the downfall of this truly amazing and beautiful relationship. The mind and body have the ability to be very great and close friends. But a disagreement like this can take the whole relationship down.

But it does not have to be this way. There is a way to restore this relationship once again by giving the stage of awareness to the body. And this is something that you get to experience right now.

Pause your reading and simply instruct your mind to ask your body, “What do you really need right now?” Ask in a very open, kind, and curious way (not in a demanding way).

Go ahead and do this now and wait patiently for an answer. It is ok...we will wait...

What information did you receive? Perhaps it was time for a bathroom break or maybe some tension released. Maybe you felt the urge for a drink of water, a yawn, or maybe a stroll around the room or block.

The body does not ask for much. Recall from earlier just how incredibly self-sufficient the body already is. Enjoy this ability. Appreciate it. Care for it. Nurture this ability. And when the body struggles, or fails, or stops working in some way, you will be presented with a choice. You can choose to use the mind to be disappointed, chastise the body, curse the natural process of aging and jump into action to fix (or numb) the problem as soon as possible. Or you can do what a friend would do. Offer to help. Ask questions. Get curious. Perhaps what would best support the body in a moment of pain is to simply let it experience the pain. There is no right or wrong answer, however, we guarantee with confidence that you have the answers within yourself, your clear mind, and your remarkable body of light.

This is the dance. This is how we are capable of living and have lived for millions of years. This is not about deprivation, consumption, rejection, or renunciation. It is about a relationship. A dance between two miracles of creation: the body and the mind. And you get to have both for a period of time. So what would you like to do with these gifts? How would you like to honor and experience this relationship?

There are so many ways. Yet we recommend starting with a friendship. Invite the mind and the body to befriend each other. Allow them to share information, start a dialog, be together as friends would spend time together. Invite the mind to ask what the mind can do for the body. And, at times, invite the body to decide what it can do for the mind. Pleasure is a balanceable experience, not something to be denied or chastised assuming the pleasure does not cause intentional pain for another.

And, according to some, at the deepest levels of connection between being, mind, and body, all experiences are pleasure (even the painful ones). But that is a standard that has been misrepresented and falsely pursued by so many on the spiritual path. This is not to speak ill of any one person or path. This is simply an invitation to be mindful of your motivations. Again, are you operating harmoniously between the body, mind, and being? Are you experiencing life simply for the experience, or is there a hidden agenda? Only you can answer those questions, which has no right or wrong answer. There is only opportunity. There is only the possibility for you to experience more harmony and joy during your lifetime. You do not have to. And you will be supported no matter which path you take. We encourage the path that is self-selected by you. Because that is another remarkable creation of the Universe. Individuality.

Your individual path is a once in all creation event. There is not a single person on this planet, now, in the past, or in the future, who can have the exact same path as you. Not even if you are a twin. Not even with your parents or friends or spouses. It is you. It is all you. No one else's. And that is the beauty of you. Your individual uniqueness, with a wonderfully unique and individual body. And a surprisingly fresh, creative, and brilliant mind. We are here to remind you of these deeper truths. Not to be praised or worshiped or even followed. But as reminders of wisdom that you already know. We are here to simply reconnect your awareness with the deep wisdom that already exists. We are here to support you on your journey of befriending the mind, body, and being. Be well. And may your body continue to thrive, flourish, and continue its magical alchemy of biochemical brilliance for a long time to come.

Chapter 4 - Memory

Memory comes in so many forms. What we mean by this is that the memory center contains several different kinds of energetic impressions and expressions. Some are real – meaning that they were physically created by experiences in harmony with the creation of nature itself. Others are fabrications, either intentionally created or from a stress or trauma response. And some memories are the results of dreams. There are some who believe that some memories are from past lives, which we believe to be true as well. There are some that believe that memories are simply electrical impulses in the brain. And this is also true, of course, but very limiting. This is like saying that a computer is simply made of electrical impulses going through silicon circuitry. It is true, but most of us would agree that a computer is so much more than this simple description.

Memory is a close friend of the mind. They’re neighbors, living in the same building, so to speak. They rely and depend on each other. The mind processes the information of the physical world through the five core senses (sight, taste, touch, hearing, and smell). In fact, science has shown that the neural connections between the sense of smell and memory are particularly strong (no doubt as part of a survival mechanism).

The point here, however, is that the mind and memory are closely connected and related. So much so, in fact, that they are often confused with each other.

Have you ever recalled a memory? Of course you have. Have you ever replayed a memory over and over again in your mind? Yes, this is something that nearly all people do. Have you ever replayed a memory in your head wishing it had gone differently, better, or changed in some way? This is incredibly common across all beings who posses both a mind and a memory. This relationship with the memory, this dance with the energy of the past, is incredibly normal.

Now let us go in the other direction. Do you have a memory about the future? “What?” you may ask. “How can you have a memory about the future?” Excellent question. Perhaps you have envisioned an outcome that you are wishing for; the memory of that wish remains and is replayed in the theater of the mind. Again, so many have experienced this kind of mind play.

So let us pause for another moment here and reflect on what we are really talking about.

You have the ability to experience life (which is a miracle unto itself). Not only can you experience life, but you can remember what happened. And in some circles, particularly in the field of hypnotism, it is believed that can you remember everything that you experience. This is also supported by those who believe in and have access to the so-called Akashic records. Setting aside the possibility of remembering every moment ever experienced, the moments that you consciously recall are miracles. You can recreate and replay events in your mind. And perhaps you are also capable of this replay effect during the dream state in which you revisit a memory and reconstruct the physical environment in your mind.

Continuing with our computer analogy, it is as if the memory is the database and the mind is the operating system that accesses, pulls up, reviews, and organizes the contents of the memory database. It it truly remarkable to have this ability.

To most people, this seems like a curse. To others, this is a blessing. And still to more people, this happens so regularly that it is dismissed as a simple common event.

Let us assure you that having a mind and a memory is not common at all. Despite having access to the most advanced telescope technology, have humans found any slight trace of life through millions of lightyears of searching? No. Not yet. Scientists are hopeful, but they still struggle to find signs of even microscopic life on Mars or perhaps Jupitor’s moon, Europa, which is a frozen shell over a large mass of saltwater.

Matter is both abundant (just look at the stars at night) and incredibly sparse, spaced out and rare (just look at the stars at night). We share this perspective with one simple goal: to recognize just how precious your memory and mind really are. There may be billions of living people on this planet at the moment, but the rarity of such an existence is nearly infinitesimally small. Remarkable, is it not?

Although rare, precious, and miraculous, that does not automatically then make all memories pleasant (or not). Some people curse their memories for the experiences (imagined or not) that they contain. Some people cling on to their memories so tight that they refuse to let them go and in doing so detract from the present moment. This is not a criticism. We are simply exploring the spectrum of relationships that humans have had with their memories, and how they interact with them using the mind.

The mind sees, accesses, and uses memory. To what end? The mind, as you are very familiar with, has discovered that pleasure feels good and pain does not. The mind has found that by seeking comfort, that is enjoyable. Seeking pain is not. Of course, some may argue at this point that there are some who do seek pain, for example the person who works out. “No pain, no gain” they say. But are they really seeking pain? Or are they seeking the pleasure that comes from subjectively having an attractive body? Are they seeking the pleasure that comes from having energy, strength, and a sense of accomplishment? Of course. The mind is so sophisticated and brilliant that it has the ability to seek the pleasure through pain while also having the ability to ignore the pain through pleasure (e.g., few think about the pain of a hangover while in the pleasure of drinking).

So what do we do with these systems of the mind and the memory? Of course, if you are reading this book, our suggestion is to befriend these systems. By treating these emergent phenomena of nature, of the Universe, you have a choice, every moment, to decide how you want to relate to the power of the mind and the power of memory.

Let us say that your memory is your closest friend. What does this friend do? How do they like to play? What do you get out of the relationship? There are no right or wrong answers here. But we would like to offer a few suggestions, if you would like (if not, feel free to skip the rest of this chapter).

When memories enter the theater of the mind, imagine grabbing some popcorn and a blanket. Watch them as you would watch a movie. For example, no matter how engrossing a movie is, there is a part of you that is always aware that you are watching a movie. This part of you knows that, deep down, what you are seeing is not happening in physical reality in front of you. You can do the same with your memories. Welcome them up, create a space for them to play and dance. Enjoy the show for as little or as long as you want. But anchor into the truth that this is simply a moving play of light and sound (just like a movie).

“Oh wow! I remember this memory. I was so scared at the time!” you might think. Or, “This is that memory that I wish was different. How interesting!” Again, there is no right or wrong way. But the choice to be friendly, to befriend the memory and the mind’s dance with memories, is entirely up to you. You get to choose your relationship with these functions.

In fact, you are the only one.

You are the only person in the entirety of the Universe that can experience your mind and your memories. Just you. Others may have their versions of a memory (for example, from a shared experience in which certain people were present at the same time). But you are the only one who can experience your unique versions of these energies. And you have way more power and control here than you might think.

There are some who believe that they are slaves to their memories. Memories that come up and torment at any time. And, often, they do. Because of this belief, the relationship with memories remains the same: as a tormentor of the self. Or, perhaps, it is in the other direction, and memories of the “good times” of the past are all that is important. And in doing so, this cheapens the present moment because now is not as “good” as it was then. This creates suffering for so many people. And there is nothing inherently wrong with that. This situation simply highlights that there is no one way to relate to memories, just as there is no one way to relate to the mind. Should you choose to befriend these energies, as we suggest here, you will likely find a greater sense of peace, harmony, happiness, and wellbeing.

You, as a human being, have a birthright. And that right is to experience the full spectrum of your humanity. This includes pain, pleasure, happiness, sorrow, joy, and everything else in between. These qualities are not inherently unique or up to you. However, and this is an important point, you have far more control over your relationship to these energies than you may fully recognize, understand, or appreciate. No one, likely, has sat you down and put into words, “You are an incredibly powerful being and you get to choose how to use that power.” And even with those words, they are merely a sign pointing towards a way. It is up to you to decide what to do with your power.

The “best part,” and we say this sarcastically, is that there is no shortage of wisdom, philosophy, sages, ideas, concepts, scientific studies and so on that not only claim to understand the right way to use your power, but they are also trying to convince you that their way is the best and only way. Be wary of any such language (including everything that you read in this book). This book simply makes the case for befriending the mind as an option that is available to you. It is not the only way and it is not the best way. It is not the way you “should” go, and it is certainly not the way that everyone needs to follow. There is a tremendous amount of usefulness and power in, what is called, biodiversity. Life, nature, the Universe, all thrive on a diverse expression of matter, light, shadow, life, death, color, texture, sound, solidity, and so on.

Pick the expression of your power that works best for you. If befriending the mind is not the expression of your power that you are interested in, then by all means stop reading here. We will wish you all the very best and warmest of wishes. If you are interested, however, in continuing the exploration of befriending of the mind, it is an absolute joy and pleasure to have you here.

Welcome.

Chapter 5 - Misunderstanding

Few things are as misunderstood as the mind. There are countless books, theories, podcasts, videos, documentaries, and other such mediums dedicated to the topic of mind (or its related attributes such as psychology, emotions, thoughts, feelings, and so on). This is clearly a fascinating topic to so many people. How could it not? It is one of the few human conditions that all people can relate to. Without a doubt, we all have a mind. And to prove it, simply say, “Hello” in your mind in your preferred language right now. Did you hear anything? Of course you did. That was a thought! This is a simple yet profound exercise.

Now, there are many who have dedicated lives and volumes of text to answer this fundamental question: what do I do with the my mind? In other words, people recognize that they have thoughts in the mind and so, understandably wonder, “what should I think about?”. Religions are dedicated to this answer. Philosophies, sciences, and even more resources all have their own unique answer to this question.

For some, the first step is recognizing that they have this ability to be aware of the mind in the first place. If you are reading this book, we will assume that you are one of those people.

But few, as far as we can tell, have asked the question, “Why do so many people want to know what to think?”

Let us start with motivation first. Nearly all humans have suffered from thoughts that have entered the mind. Thoughts are produced and emotional responses come shortly afterward [and some research suggests that this process goes the other way; emotions first and then thoughts]. Of course, how those emotions feel raises questions about the nature of thoughts; the nature of the mind. If you have ever had an uncomfortable, difficult, or painful emotional response to the thoughts of the mind, rest assured that you are in good company. Nearly all of humanity has experienced this kind of suffering. This is completely understandable.

And so it is no wonder that a quest for answers and solutions soon follow. Thus begins thousands of years of exploring, searching, and pining for the answer to this fundamental question again:

What should I think about?

The answer to this question has become so convoluted, so complex, that another popular approach has been dominating the self-help book shelves:

I do not know what to think, it is too confusing and there are too many options, so how do I get rid of the mind all together?

The answer to this profound and understandable question leads to discussions around letting go, releasing the ego, killing the ego, experiencing an ego death, being untethered. Without a doubt, these approaches have brought relief. Of course they have. These solutions provide a deep and foundational answer to nearly all problems: the solution to any problem is to make the problem disappear.

The amount of pain and relief that these approaches have offered is immeasurable. Countless humans have struggled, strived, and succeeded in disassociating all awareness of the personal mind [either, partially or completely]. The result is an amazing feat achieved by incredibly brave and tenacious humans. These humans are inspiring sources of light that uplift nearly all who come in to contact with them. But it is not the only way.

We arrive now at an interesting junction. We have come to a place — a place that is talked about more and more — where detachment from the mind is the dominant solution to the problem of the mind.

Is that the end? Is there nothing more that one can do?

Of course, if you are reading this book, you already know the answer. Perhaps there is another way; a way that does not require decades of fierce, focused, inspiring training.

Befriend the mind as you would befriend a cool breeze on a warm summer day.

The mind is here for a reason.

The true reason is not fully understood by anyone and may never be fully understood. But just as natural as it is for a squirrel to store acorns for the winter, it is completely normal and natural for you to have a mind. Not only the logical, thinking, brilliant mind that solves complex equations, taxes, and sudoku puzzles. But the personal mind. The mind that tells stories, imparts meaning, judges people, places, and things as good, bad, right, or wrong. This mind is here for a reason. It is not as if the formation of the entire Universe, with all the complex architecture of forces, matter, stars, solids, gasses, space, gravity, and everything else in between is normal and natural; yet, the mind is somehow the one cosmic mistake of the Universe!? We do not believe so.

We do not "buy" that. And we extend the invitation to you: neither should you.

It must be here for a reason. It follows the law of creation, which states that everything exists for a reason (or else it would not exist). And that reason does not have to be a deep esoteric or philosophical reason, it can be a very simple reason: simply because the natural forces of nature combined in such a way.

Is it possible to befriend a flower?

Is it possible to befriend a star?

Is it possible to befriend a virus?

Is it possible befriend absolutely all phenomena, known and unknown, in the Universe?

Yes! Of course it is. Who is the one that decides if something is befriend-able or not? You! You have the choice, the power, the will, the capability to decide what to befriend or not. And nothing could ever stop you from exercising or using this ability. So why not use this incredible gift to befriend one of the most powerful, confusing, beautiful, and painful enigmas of existence?

The human mind.

Chapter 6 - Imagination

Imagination is the playground of the mind. So few understand or fully appreciate the power of imagination. It has been highlighted and celebrated by some. Even Albert Einstein proclaimed, “Imagination is more powerful than knowledge.”

For many people, the imagination of the mind is a curse. So many imagine failing, loss, harm, pain, grief, and several other deeply difficult and complex situations.

There are others, of course, who are familiar with the opposite. They use their minds to envision the outcomes they truly desire: the money that they want in the bank account, the result of a sporting event, a particular house, or mate, or a car.

To be very clear, using the imagination for either painful or pleasurable outcomes is, and never will be, good, bad, right or wrong. They are simply examples of what is possible to do with imagination.

The mind is much like clay. It has the potential to be molded into anything; it is an inherent part of the medium, of the brain, of the mind.

So here we come to the place where we explore the relationship between imagination and the mind. This feat — this power — may actually be one of the core values and clues as to the overall purpose of the mind.

Early humans who lived a hunter gatherer existence also had minds, of course, and imaginations. They could imagine the possibilities in the elements of the Earth. They envisioned and contemplated on the nature of obsidian until, over time, it was discovered that it can be used to cut or peirce. This, of course, led to weapons crucial to the hunter lifestyle; bows and arrows and such.

In this example, we see how imagination was a very useful tool to take what is and shape it into what it could become. One may wonder if humans are unique to imagination. This is a fun question to explore.

Does the eagle imagine what the nest will look like before it builds the nest? We do not fully know and may never know. While the eagle may have access to imagination as humans do, there is a mystery as to whether or not the eagle is aware of this ability. That is what makes the human experience fundamentally, discernibly, different from what appears to be happening in the larger animal world: awareness of being.

Humans are aware of imagination. Some humans are more aware of this tool than others. And there is nothing wrong with that. Everything exists on a spectrum, just look at the spectrum of visible light from red to purple. All things have opposites, balance, and to do so, this requires a spectrum.

So where are you at on this spectrum? First of all, how aware are you of the kinds of stories, hopes, dreams, fears, and so on that your mind creates? All of these elements come from imagination. The ability to perceive the present moment (or even the past or the future for that matter) in a different state then what it currently is is a function of imagination. From your starting point, the point of awareness, you begin to experience what your imagination is doing. Is it doing what you want? Is it doing what you do not want? How do you know? How can you tell? For so many people, this is a difficult relationship, no different from the relationship with the mind (because, really, they are interrelated). Begin with the current state and simply observe. Or, perhaps better yet, begin to embrace and befriend your imagination.

Why have this ability in the first place? What is the purpose of imagination? These are excellent questions for us all to explore together. Again, the premise of this book and these words is to offer that everything about humanity is incredibly natural. The mind, the emotions, and the imagination are not cosmic mistakes. They exist for a purpose, and they have a purpose because they exist. So let us continue exploring together why imagination exists at all.

In classical Newtonian physics, there are two fundamental types of energy: kinetic and potential. To understand these two energies, imagine grabbing a rubber band. Stretch this rubber band and hold it in it is stretched state. This is called potential energy. Energy is present, in this example, to create movement, change, and to facilitate a transfer of energy. Once you let go of the rubber band it goes flying away. This is kinetic or “moving” energy.

Imagination operates in the realm of potential energy. Yet it also has kinetic energy as well.

For example, let us say that in your imagination, you imagine a situation where you have the job of your dreams. You are working in your ideal industry, with the best people, expressing your natural gifts, strengths, and talents. Now imagine that such a job opens up. What do you do? Most likely you would choose to apply for this job. Imagining the role is potential energy. Applying for the job is kinetic energy. See how this works? This is a simple example, but the power of this human tool is remarkably vast. This same power is building quantum computers, taking people to Mars (and beyond), and evolving the energy that is used to power vehicles, homes, and electronics. Imagination was the potential energy at the core to all of these technical revolutions the results, of which, nearly all humans experience and interact with today. Within this framework of potential and kinetic energy, you create your experience.

You have probably heard of this phrase before from other resources that talk about consciousness, manifestation, and so on. Many people have recognized that the power of imagination lies in its ability to bring the unseen into the seen; in other words, to manifest into reality.

Those who study, understand, or practice manifestation are paving the way for the evolving utilization of imagination. There is a small catch however. Very often, though not always, the imagination is being used to create external circumstances that please the current beliefs of the mind. But if the mind has not been befriended, or processed, or harmonized, or detached as we talked about previously, this often leaves the manifester still feeling incomplete.

But now you have a choice. You have a choice to befriend your mind, your body, your memory, and your imagination. To understand them from your own experience (and not just through these words) as beautiful gifts of, and from, the Universe. These faculties are the Universe and the Universe are these faculties. You are divine in the sense that you are of the same energy as the divine. This divinity includes the mind, the imagination, and all other aspects of your humanity.

These systems can and, by many people, will be transcended. And what a beautiful intention or path to follow. At the same time, recognize that these powerful tools of your being exist here and now. Celebrate this truth. Know that these abilities are not a mistake, but some of the most sophisticated expressions of physical and metaphysical reality. You are here for a purpose. You are here to express your divine gifts with everyone. And the imagination that rests within your being — this big and beautiful gift — is yours to connect, befriend, or even let go if you choose. Again, there is no right, wrong, good, or bad way to understand and relate to your imagination. Give befriending a try and decide for yourself how you want to tap into the potential energy of imagination and convert it into the kinetic energy of action.

Chapter 7 - Frenemy

Frenemy is a fascinating word. According to Google Dictionary, a frenemy is “a person with whom one is friendly despite a fundamental dislike or rivalry.” Is it any wonder that most people have a kind of frenemy relationship with their mind? At times, you and your mind may have the most beneficial and amicable pairing. Other times, emotions, energy, and motivation are dragging you through the mud. The mind is the one relationship that most humans keep for their entire lives. Yet it is probably one of the most traumatic, difficult, confusing, pleasing, and unquestionably inconsistent relationship one may have.

And so we propose something a bit different. For a moment, allow yourself to take your mind’s point of view. Step into the shoes, so to speak, of the mind. When you do, you may see where this tumultuous relationship comes from.

In the beginning, the mind had simple orders: process a complex world into significance and meaning. From all of the physical inputs, a newborn’s mind is frantically processing it all. The sounds, the colors, the tastes, the feelings. The mind works hard to translate, compartmentalize, and help the creation of new neural pathways so as to facilitate learning. Again, a rather simple set of orders that actually have a great deal of complexity underneath the “hood,” so to speak.

As time progresses, the internal database or library of experiences grows more and more. So many things are known to create pleasure such as certain colors, shapes, and sounds. It does not take long for things like candy to be pleasurable and things like broccoli become painful. Playing is playful. Falling, getting hurt, or getting yelled at are painful.

On and on the experiences pile on until there is a point where there is a vast internal library of “do’s” and “do not’s.” There is an understanding of how the moment is to ideally unfold in order to maximize pleasure and minimize pain. But as with all complex systems, gray areas start to emerge. There are experiences that are partially pleasurable and partially painful. Some experiences are expected to have a pleasurable outcome and, instead have a painful outcome (e.g., you get the job of your dreams and then are laid off before you even start). So now the mind is doing its best to average, recommend, and avoid. But it does so from this attempted “middle ground.” A place where it is not too pleasurable and not too painful. But there is a lot more in this system than just a mind. The mind is playing with emotions, which are playing with the physical senses, which are interacting with the meta-physical senses, which are then inspired or turned off by all sorts of people, places, and things.

The mind becomes so complex, struggling every day to do its job of keeping your body alive as long as possible and, hopefully, to one day reproduce.

Believe it or not, you have gone through this entire spectrum of complexity and experience. And it keeps going.

There are more sensory inputs developed today than there ever have been, thanks to the development of electronics and other forms of stimuli.

So what is a mind to do!?!? Rebel, quit, fail, manipulate, seek, crave, pursue, lust, hunger, and so on? The experience of pleasure becomes so irregular and inconsistent that the mind will do anything to capture it. And so we introduce drugs, both legal (e.g., coffee) and illegal drugs. Humans spend millions on vacations, clothes, houses, and other experiences. The motivation remains the same as infancy: maximize pleasure and minimize pain. But the world does not always unfold in a pleasurable way.

And so this fighting dance goes on and on. And you, the one who is observing all of this activity, is so subdued that the mind seems to be the only thing that is taking center stage and hogging all of your attention.

The mind fights with itself and you, the conscious observer. How can you have a relationship with an energy like that? As we mentioned previously, this is where the strategies of transcendence, letting go, and untethering become so craved, popular, and desirable. Who would not want to transcend the mind? Based on everything we just covered, it is seems like an absolute mess! The mind is holding pleasure and pain under lock and key. And so begins the frenemy relationship.

Let us pause here. Take a breath. And come back to this present moment.

There is a lot of information here for us to process. By pausing and viewing the world through the point of view of the mind, it can feel overwhelming. There is a reason why so many humans are both addicted to the mind while trying to negate it at the same time.

This is a lot. And so, too, does the mind have a lot to process. It is been designed and asked to process and make sense of the world in all of its infinite complexities. No small task. And at the same time, we then expect the mind to be the great conductor, harmonizing our being with the unfolding of life in a way that minimizes discomfort. When you experienced discomfort as an infant you responded in a powerful and dramatic way: crying. Likewise, when you experienced incredible pleasure, you laughed with your whole body (often called a “belly laugh”).

The mind is working very hard. And it needs a friend. Let us say that a different way...imagine how the energy of the mind would respond if it had a friend. Someone to listen to, to share, to experience together. Best of all, it costs nothing. It only takes an understanding between the conscious you and your mind. You are invited to take the first step, make the first move, and pivot out of the frenemy zone into the friend zone. Friendship always begins with openness, respect, and trust.

Be open to what the mind thinks, believes, and says. Even if it seems weird, disgusting, untrue, or amazing.

Respect the monumental task that the mind is asked to manage.

And trust that you are capable of having a powerful, engaging, and amazing relationship with the mind.

Trust the mind. Those are three words that you will scarcely find in any self-help book or mindfulness training. Yet it is incredibly important.

Trust. The. Mind.

It is ok to do so. It is totally free; it does not cost a thing.

And, most importantly, you do not have to take our word for it. Nor is is something that you are asked to do all the time. Trust your mind, be open to the mind, respect the mind for thirty seconds. And then go back to being frenemies. And if thirty seconds works and shifts your inner energy and allows more of your conscious self to shine, then try a minute, or two, or 60.

Experience for yourself what it is like to befriend the mind. You may still choose to work on letting go and transcending the mind. Again, there is no right or wrong way here. There is no one approach. There is no solution because there is no problem. The mind simply IS. While you are here on this Earth, alive, breathing, and have access to a human mind, you can develop any kind of relationship with it that you choose. For some, choosing to befriend the mind is the preferred choice.

Chapter 8 - Dreams

Dreams are the gateway to another reality. Within dreams, symbols, thoughts, events, sensations, and feelings all bubble up to the surface and frolic around the playground of imagination (see Chapter 6 - Imagination). 

Of course, this is nothing new for you. You have experienced dreams since you were a child. But the dream world and the physical world have a great deal in common. At the core of this commonality is the mind. 

The mind dreams in wonder. The mind dreams and you get to experience it. There is no right or wrong way to interpret dreams. To some, they are merely random firings of brain synapses. To others, they are literal gateways to other dimensions. Regardless of their true origin or capability, dreams create experiences unique to you. 

When dreams are unpleasant they get a new name: “nightmare.” Knowing that the source of dreams – or at lease the core – is the mind, we can always start there in order to understand what dreams mean for each and every one of us. 

Know that the mind loves to bathe in dreams. They are powerful, natural, intense, and magical. Within the dream, the ability to create any environment, scenario, or circumstance is right at your imagined fingertips. 

We understand that so many of these dreams are hard to remember, hard to interpret, or hard to experience in general. 

Doubts, anxieties, fantasies, wishes...all combine in the screenplay of the dreaming mind. But what do all of these experiences mean to you and your being? As the popular saying states, “energy flows where attention goes.” There is energy within the mind that is waiting to be expressed. As you may notice by observing nature, all of it – all of creation, for that matter – is the expression of energy. Stars, moons, planets, trees, plants, animals, emotions, mind...all of these beautiful creations are the result of (and are tools for) the expression of energy. 

When we look at dreams from this perspective, often it releases some tension related to dreams. Energy expression is beautiful. Sometimes it results in chaotic and devastating results. These results can be upsetting and disturbing – of course they are! They are no less beautiful expressions of energy, however. When we view creation through the perspective of non-judgement, we observe the miraculousness of it all. Now, this does not mean that all expressed energies are to be passively accepted and ignored. For example, there are devastating expressions of energy that are harming people, the planet, the mind, the heart, and more. These expressions are beautiful. And, at the same time, they also present remarkable opportunities for a new kind of creation. Creativity and imagination come together to create changes that have harmonious expressions and supportive impact on people, the planet, the minds, hearts, and souls of all. 

The more you are able to perceive the wild, strange, and perplexing expressions of the dream mind as wondrous, the more you will perceive events in your waking state in the same way. Imagine waking every day with a wondrous nature in your being! 

Dreams contain many keys of wisdom and information. With this information, guidance comes forward to support you and your journey. This is a game, of sorts. There is no requirement that says you must explore and play with your dreams in a way that illuminates your path. The option is there for you should you choose to exercise this power. There is no right or wrong journey. There is no better or worse journey. There is only the game of uncovering, discovering, and exploring your unique journey. Dreams are one of many guides along this process. 

Within the dream state, you have the power to transform and interact with the dream itself. This is often called “lucid” dreaming. Lucid dreams give you the space to truly explore and experience, first hand, how powerful the mind can be. You may fly, change the environment, and change the circumstances. This power exists in the waking state as well, but that is a topic for another time. 

Once the human mind experiences what is possible (either from the self or from observing others) this opens the door of possibility. Once the famous runner, Roger Banister, became the first person to run a mile in under four minutes, hundreds have followed in his footsteps (pun intended). So, too, dreams offer a canvas to explore possibility. This exploration begins with a dream and is amplified when lucid dreaming is experienced. There are many techniques and tools for lucid dreaming. This author has found that the easiest method to engage in lucid dreaming is to use the power of intention. Simply set the intention every night before bed that you will have a lucid dream. Do this every night until the lucid dream is experienced (it may take several days to several weeks to occur). It may also be helpful to set the intention to remain asleep once the lucid state is achieved. It is common for those who begin lucid dreaming to wake up from the excitement of the experience.

The mind dreams, and the dreams are of the mind. Within this magical space, you get to experience a power of the mind that is absolutely marvelous to behold. The fact that you dream is a miracle. Best of all, dreams are not exclusive to just humans. If you have observed dogs asleep, for example, their feet twitch and mild barks emerge. We often enjoy watching this display. Which, of course, expands our perception of what mind is. Mind goes beyond just humans. And dreams unify us all together.

Dreaming brings us together. There are certain human expressions that transcend language, cultures, and geographies. There are three such expressions that belong to all...laughter, crying, and dreaming. There are more, but we want to focus on these three for now. Dreaming transcends the physical world to create a space of wonder and awe. This is meant to guide you, support you, and nurture you along your personal journey of creative expression. May you explore dreams with wonder, and give deep thanks to the brilliant mind for allowing these experiences to emerge.

Chapter 9 - Relationships

The mind seeks many things. One of which are relationships. Specifically, the mind seeks similar minds. Perhaps you are familiar with the phrase “like-minded.”

The mind, understandably so, fears being alone. It seeks belonging. It seeks other minds to connect with.

So how does this work? The mind, as we know, creates meaning out of patterns. Some patterns are seen in shapes, other patterns are formed with sounds. The mind seeks patterns in the form of thoughts, emotions, and actions.

There is a popular bumper sticker that you may have seen. It states...

"If you are not angry, you are not paying attention."

What does this bumper sticker really mean? To the person who chooses to place this upon their car, their mind is thinking something like this.

As I observe the world and make meanings and judgements about it is patterns, I feel angry. I do not like to feel angry alone so I will broadcast this anger in a way that attracts others. Others who agree with this bumper sticker will be like-minded people. Others who do not will likely read it and perhaps feel angry, as if I’m suggesting that they are not paying attention, and they will feel angry like I do. Either way, I know that there are others experiencing anger; therefore, I’m not alone.

Perhaps you see how this works. This is one of countless examples of human minds attempting to isolate and detect like-minded minds. The mind craves this connection. Even if that connection means taking a divisive stance, it does not matter. Because the mind is not really interested in connection with all people; only others who have similar mindsets.

This can be a very beautiful or, perhaps, dangerous quality. As we have reiterated throughout these writings, nothing about what the mind does (or does not do) is good, bad, right, or wrong. We are simply highlighting its tendencies. It has the ability to make a heaven out of Earth or a hell out of Earth. You contain the will power, consciousness, and ability to choose. Many times, conscious choice is discussed in many teachings. This is difficult for many people because the mind is doing such an outstandingly vigilant job of filtering all of life’s experiences through previous experiences, judgements, and beliefs. What a truly remarkable instrument. Again, how could we not encourage one and all to at least attempt befriending the mind? The shear genius of this ability is unrivaled throughout the cosmos.

But we digress. Knowing that the mind seeks companionship in the form of other minds has a way of creating freedom and liberation. How so? You see, the mind will create meaning from patterns no matter what. This is an inherent property of the mind. However, you have the ability to seek out the kinds of relationships that best support and nourish you. This author, Tommy, has had multiple occasions where he was surrounded by inspiring nurturing people. They completely accelerated his skills, friendships, self-confidence, self-worth, and self-esteem. All traits that he believes he lacks at times, as is a common experience for all. Yet these incredibly powerful relationships; ones where Tommy felt fully seen, heard, supported, and respected, were a mear breath away from deep ecstatic bliss. He did not know that at the time, but now he does.

When we come to the place in life when relationships are in question, it may be these times when befriending the mind — the mind itself — becomes your strongest ally. With the mind as a friendly ally, you are free to forge relationships that are nurturing. Relationships that bring out the very best in you.

Up until now, we have only been referring to fellow human relationships. But there are so many types of relationships that exist. You are capable of befriending nature, the environment, stars, galaxies, animals, puddles, rain, snow, heat, cold, and all manner of creations in the cosmos. They, too, have minds. Many researchers do not believe this, since science has yet to prove it. However, the mind still seeks mind. Perhaps a more tangible understanding of this concept is anthropomorphism. This is a natural human tendency to apply human like attributes to animals. Mickey Mouse is a great example of an anthropomorphic mouse.

By seeking out patterns and elements of other people, places, and things, the mind is satisfied not feeling alone.

But is that all the mind needs? Not according to the mind.

Relationships change. People’s personalities change as life events come into their experience. This may trigger a disconnect in like-mindedness. In other words, you find yourself in a relationship with another person, place, or thing that once was in line with your mind but is now at odds with the same mind. What happened? The Law of Change. Change is inevitable. It is a foundational law of the Universe. Even if no humans were present, the cosmos would still change. In fact, it is this very change that has allowed humans to exist in the first place. Without the Law of Change, no stars, planets, or life would exist.

This, however, is a confusing concept to the mind. Why? The mind is so very close to the source of truth. The source of consciousness. Consciousness is the only energy that is known to be everlasting and, at it is core, unchanging. How can this be? Well, did you look in the mirror as a child and see yourself? What happens when you look in the mirror now?

Has the body changed? Yes.

Has the mind changed? Yes.

Has the consciousness imbued with the body change? No.

That consciousness remains the same.

Having a relationship with that consciousness is the ultimate expression in self-love. Soon, we will discuss in greater detail who you are in relationship to the mind. For now, trust that this information is unfolding as it is meant to do so.

Returning to relationships, what are you going to do about your relationships? This is by no means an invitation to end relationships, though you are more than welcome to do so (you do not need our permission; only your own permission). You also have the option to take a closer look at the mind and ask yourself, “What kinds of minds have I been attracting? If I’m connected with like-minded people, what are their minds like? What does that tell me about my own mind?” There is nothing stopping you from asking yourself these deep and profound questions. Doing so may create conscious changes in your relationships to any number of people, places, and things that are all a part of your brilliant, beautiful, and miraculous experience on this planet.

Chapter 10 - Play

When you have a friend, what do you do? You play, of course. Think back to a time of play from your childhood. Perhaps a particular friend comes to your mind’s eye. Or maybe a particular event. What did you do? Who were you? And who were you playing with?

And now for the big question: why did you play?

For many, play feels instinctual, obvious – the only reasonable and rational thing to do. Let us say that you got a chance to speak with a child in the middle of play and you asked this child, “why do you play?” They will struggle to give you lengthy, involved, well thought out answer. They will likely say something like, “Because...” The classic answer that they have heard from their caregivers multiple times.

Here, we are exploring the possibility of befriending the mind. To some, this may seem like a discipline to master. To others, this may seem like the way or, perhaps, play. And to others, this may seem like it is completely ridiculous; and if you are in the this group, it is inspiring that you continued to read this far. In fact, it is inspiring to all who have read this far. Please, take a moment now and celebrate being you, sharing this journey with us. Congratulations! It is a pleasure to be with you in this moment.

Perhaps it is time to go play. To play with the mind is to realize that it is something that is capable of play. When you think about it, the mind is playing regularly. It is playing out scenarios, ideas, regrets, possible futures, subjective pasts, and so on. It is reeling and dealing in the game of life, so to speak. More accurately, it is playing in the game of life as a response to events that have taken place or could potentially take place in the future.

So how does one play with the mind? Great question. How do you play with your friends (present or former when you were a child)? Like the child we interviewed earlier, you just do it. But let us expand on this in a more useful way.

The mind is a companion, as we have discussed. It is the only internal element or entity that remains with you throughout your life. All living humans have a mind. The state, quality, and condition of that mind varies from person to person. Each mind is as unique as a fingerprint. Yet it can be befriended. And a powerful way to do so is to invite it play.

When thoughts emerge that are unpleasant; they create dissonance in your energy...this could be a time to engage in play. You say to yourself, “Mind wants to play the ‘unpleasant game.’ How fun! What else can go wrong? What else do you regret, mind? What else are you afraid of?” You are capable of having this kind of conversation in with your mind, in your mind, at this very moment. Give it a try. Simply say, “Hello” in your mind. Did you hear it? Say it louder, or perhaps even yell it in your mind. You can still hear it, yes? Of course you can. All minds operate in this way and can be heard.

Yes, in a sense, this is the mind talking to itself. You are still the one observing these interactions. But you have access to another power that plays with the mind: conscious will. You get to express energy through the instrument of the mind and the brain. Think about a musical instrument: a flute. Let us say that you are able to hang the flute, suspended in the air such that when the wind blows, a note is played. The flute exists and it can be played with minimal involvement on your part – all you had to do was hang it up. Now, imagine that you take the flute down, bring it to your mouth, perse your lips, and blow. This is your conscious will using the air in your lungs to create a note. In both cases, the flute is played. But one is enacted with conscious will and the other is a result of the forces of the wind. Neither of these approaches are good, bad, right, or wrong. They are simply different ways of playing the same instrument.

The mind is an instrument.

The brain is an instrument.

The body is an instrument.

Consciousness is an instrument.

Conscious will is an instrument.

And you, the great one; the great being within that has access to all of these instruments has the ability to choose what to play, how, and when.

So let us keep exploring how to play with the mind. Earlier, we discussed how to play when the winds of the mind bring uncomfortable thoughts into your awareness. What about when the mind creates thoughts that are very pleasant? What about thoughts that are pleasurable, lustful, excited, or even bored (just to shake things up)?

How would you play with your mind in those cases? Perhaps you could say, “Hello mind! You want to play the lustful game, I see. How fun. What else do you want? What else do you desire?”

Simply watch, observe, and play. Imagine that you have a close friend who calls you and tells you very exciting news. Perhaps this friend just got the job they have been really wanting for a long time. How do you respond? Do you have to do anything? Do you have to change anything? Of course not. You simply celebrate with the friend. Congratulate them. Maybe you discuss plans for celebrating.

YOU CAN DO THESE THINGS WITH YOUR MIND!

It is very important to create the realization of what is possible to do with your mind. It is your friend. It is your ally. Even when it seems to be the exact opposite. It will appear to be your enemy, it will appear to sabotage your efforts, your will, your attention. A friend who does not know how to be a friend will do things that make little sense. They may end up doing more harm than good.

By befriending the mind you set the tone for how this relationship works. And if you put play at the center of this relationship, you are setting yourself up for a great deal more fun, joy, and, what we like to call, an obvious interaction. Just as children understand how obvious it is to play.

Enjoy your mind. Create a relationship of play. And you will find a new level of joy and being that will pervade all that you seek, say, do, and experience.

Let us go have some fun.

Chapter 11 - The Mind And You

Having a reasoning mind does not separate you from the universe. Your ability to sense, perceive, and understand is itself a power of the universe. You are a part of the universe, perceiving itself.

—Marcus Aurelius

So far, we have been referring to the mind as something separate, like a car, a boat, or a pinky finger. Yet, to many humans, the mind is who they believe they are. In other words, many humans tie their identity — who they think they are — to the mind. So then the question emerges...

If you are not the mind, who are you?

The answer is likely one that you have heard many times before. You are the one who experiences the mind. You are the observer, the awareness, the one who is capable of perceiving a mind. Just as many humans are capable of perceiving visible light with their eyes, or sound vibrations through their ears, you are the consciousness that is perceiving the mind. Of course, you also perceive emotions. And, likely, you are capable of perceiving life through many senses.

Why? Why are all of these experiences here? Why is there a consciousness that is capable of observing all of this phenomena?

To answer these incredibly deep and powerful questions, we have to go within. This is also a concept that you have likely heard multiple times. This urge to “go within” spurs and inspires many people to take up meditation. Meditation comes in many forms. Some meditation is focuses on the breath with eyes closed. Other forms of meditation are not even called meditation. For example, when a rock climber is climbing, they are meditating (likely) on the rock and their moves. In fact, this is what inspires so many people to take up hobbies and perform activities; to take awareness away from the thoughts of the mind and become completely immersed in the experience of life. A gymnast focuses on the twirling and swirling moves. The race car driver focuses on the track and their opponents.

These acts are not the mind. Yet they are a way to get a perspective on the mind by creating a condition in which the conscious awareness is no longer focused on the mind.

Many so called “escapes” also speak to this innate desire to go within. Examples include television, drugs, sex, and alcohol. In and of themselves, these objects of distraction (or redirected awareness), are neither good, bad, right, or wrong. They simply have the unique effect of pulling your awareness away from thoughts and even emotions for a time being.

Consciousness is, ultimately, who you are. This is difficult to perceive because so much of your life experience focuses on the individual senses within the body, as well as emotions, and of course the thoughts of the mind. When in combination with all of the stimuli possible, this existence...this human existence...is a vast, wild, diverse tapestry of experiences.

Yet, it is the mind that seems to dominate the conscious awareness within. Why? It is incredibly personal. It is a once-in-a-lifetime unique show. There is no other being throughout the Universe that is capable of recording, observing, or perceiving the exact thoughts of your mind. Perhaps one day technology will evolve to be able to do so. And, unless the mind is befriended, it is likely that most people are not in a hurry for such a technology to exist. Many thoughts from the mind are difficult enough to process, let alone having a machine also display them on a screen for everyone to see.

Assuming such a technological time does not come to pass, the question remains unanswered: why is there conscious awareness? Why does this awareness seem to be innate in all of human life yet seem so unique and individual as well? To answer these questions, you must get back to the root of your being. At the core, there is consciousness itself. And this powerful, inspiring, awesome energy is capable of being aware of itself. It is as if consciousness has access to a mirror and it sees a reflection of itself. This is who you really are. Alas there is no quantum, etheric, or Universe-sized mirror with which to perceive itself. So it must do so in a rather ingenious and clever way. It needs to have a way to interact with form, mass, matter, energy, light, and all the elements of the Universe. It needs a vessel, a “ship” that can travel, eat, and live amongst matter. But there is so much matter that a single vessel is not enough.

So we begin to understand the origin of life.

Life experiences life so that consciousness can experience consciousness. There are so many different perspectives, situations, opportunities, light, dark, and everything in between.

Now, this is not a scientific, philosophical, or religious discourse on the origin of life. As you are likely aware, many books have been written on the subject. Our goal here is to simply align you with what you have been seeking to understand: who are you and why are you here?

There is no one answer. There is no good answer. There is no bad answer. You are deeply encouraged to explore these answers for yourself. But you do not have to do so alone. Know that we are here, sharing these words with you now, as humble guides, pointing towards the possible paths in front of you. In our other book, The Book of the Dead and Instantaneous Rebirth, we expand greatly on the path right in front of you. The here and the now, popping into existence, instantaneously being birthed and then dying so that the next moment can emerge and do the same. Along this journey, or wave of existence, you have a mind, emotions, a body, and the gift of experience. Even if you do not have access to all of the five main human senses, you are consciousness experiencing the Universe with all the senses that you do have available at the moment.

There are times when this system of consciousness, awareness, perception, experience, and mind fail. And by fail, we mean that it stops working. When you come to this stopping point, you have reached physical death. Yet consciousness endures, unchanging. As we shared earlier, the way to understand the constant nature of consciousness is to realize that you are the same person regardless of your age. You are the same person perceiving life as a seven year old as you are perceiving life as a 70 year old. Has the mind changed during that time? Absolutely! Have you ever changed your mind? Of course. The mind is dynamic, fluid, and prone to change. From what we can tell, consciousness is not. So why would consciousness end upon physical death? That is another great, deep, and powerful question. Our job is not to give you all the answers. Take that one on for yourself and you may be surprised and what insights you realize.

This is a difficult topic to explore and discuss. At best, we can only share words, concepts, and the occasional metaphor. But there is one major takeaway that we invite you to process as you conclude this chapter.

You are not the mind and the mind is not you. You, the consciousness, the one who is aware of mind, is the real you. Every time we address you as “you” in this book, that is the “you” we are talking to. We never talk to your mind, but you need to access your mind in order to understand and comprehend these words. And, in our opinion, it is of great advantage to begin befriending the mind. The mind is like the keys to a car. Without the keys you cannot start the car. And without the car, the keys are useless. The mind is a bridge, a connector between who you really are (consciousness) and the experience, expression, and appreciation of the Universe.

The concepts in this chapter are quite deep. You may be interested in re-reading them again to access your understanding. Or you may never want to visit this chapter again; no offense if that is your choice. In either case (including the multitude of choices in between) we send you tremendous blessings of light and love. We see the consciousness within you and in all of life. This is something that we do not really address or speak about very often. But the truth of who you are is as plain and clear to us as the sky is blue on a sunny day. We say this not to frighten you or “brag,” as you might say. There is a deep excitement for who you are. The creation of life that embodies your mind, which is the “key” to consciousness, is phenomenal. The potential within you is so vast and amazing. Have you ever had a connection with someone and you saw remarkable potential within that person? Maybe it was a child, an up-and-coming athlete, or even yourself. When we perceive the consciousness experiencing itself through the human mind, body, and spirit, we see this same exciting potential. And it is beyond description. The vast awesomeness, the deep potential, the capabilities, the insights, the genius — it remains too challenging to put into words. We are so proud of who you really are, your mind, your emotions, and your actions. We are in awe of your energy, your voice, your thoughts. You are an enigma, which attracts immense curiosity.

“Unleash the power within,” as your inspiring author, Tony Robbins, has famously shared.

The power within is consciousness. The key is your mind. The car is your actions, expressions, and experiences of this life. It is a journey to behold and one that we hope you choose to befriend.

Chapter 12 - Perfection

The mind loves perfection. What do we mean by that? The mind recognizes balance, harmony, symmetry, beauty, and delight. Perfection comes by observing and connecting with nature. After time passes, experiences enter the mind and reshape the meaning of perfection. The definition becomes personal, subjective, and rooted in judgment. We do not say this as a bad thing: it is extraordinarily natural! As we explored earlier, the nature of the mind — the perfection of the mind — is in its ability to receive experiences and process, shape, compartmentalize, and apply meaning. This is an incredibly normal and natural process.

Of course, we realize that there are some who do not see it this way.

Over time, the mind may formulate the perspective that perfection is absolutely essential. These are the so called “perfectionists” of the world. Perhaps you identify with this personality type or know of someone who does. Perfection lies at the heart of control. Control is used to purposefully make changes to the way things are in order to force harmony, symmetry, cleanliness, and beauty (to name a few). This, of course, is an ongoing journey (some call it a “battle”) of tweaking, measuring, critiquing, and changing all over again.

The perfectionist tendency applies to both the external world and the internal world. The body becomes an object of perfection. Lust or envy grow in response to perceiving the “perfect” body. The personal body becomes the object of extreme focus (and, unfortunately, sometimes abuse). Perfection becomes ever present yet constantly illusive. Unattainable. While on the mission of seeking perfection, the mind craves the experience because it offers direction. The mind, as discussed, craves direction, knowing, and certainty. It likes to know that it is progressing in some way. Using this approach, the mind constructs a perpetual unending sense of direction. Is it any wonder that the mind would crave perfection? Limitless, unending direction, until the physical body passes (which the mind attempts to avoid as much as possible).

The great paradox of the mind: it craves what it cannot have yet believes that obtaining what it wants is eventually possible.

How amazing! How lovely! How remarkable that you are in possession of (or, more accurately, you are aware of) a mind that has the ability to experience, crave, delight, and fall in the presence of a paradox. A great contradiction that is not actually a contradiction.

Recall where we started: the mind observed perfection in all things. Tasting something bitter as a child created an uncomfortable and unpleasant reaction. Yet the experience comes and goes with no judgment. It was simply an experience — a perfect experience. The mind knows how to perceive the perfection in all things naturally from birth. Yet, in time, natural judgments form from experience and perfection gets put in a box. The box is labeled, and it has a strict door that admits somethings but not all things.

Harmony with the mind begins with befriending the mind. And one way to befriend the mind is to observe and be aware of the box of perfection. We mention it here because this box seems to impact nearly every human mind. It has been a topic of discussion, debate, controversy, and even wars for many thousands of years. It is seems relevant to explore together.

Observe the mind’s obsession with perfection. It may help to think of it as a dear friend who has a deep passion for a sports team. Imagine such a friend right now — perhaps you already know one. This is the kind of friend who “bleeds the color” that represents their team or sport. Total infatuation. And any competitors to that team are deemed quite imperfect, lesser-thans, and have no business competing (let alone beating) your friend’s favorite team. Perhaps you can relate to this idea yourself! What sports team (if any) is perfect in your mind, even when they fail or make mistakes, in which you will always remain loyal?

Absolutely remarkable, is it not?

So what do you do with this particular friend? Perhaps you simply let them have their obsession and speak little about it. Perhaps you support a competitor and you enjoy the lively conversations and “jabs” that you deliver to each other. Perhaps you ignore it completely.

What do you want to do with the perfectionist mind that is obsessed with perfection? There is no right or wrong answer here. We simply offer and continue to come back to the same point. Embrace this remarkable mind. Notice its perfectionist tendencies. Celebrate with the mind’s wins, alignments, and ongoing reaches for perfection. Allow the sadness to emerge when perfection is scarcely achieved or falls short. Have a conversation with this friend, the mind. Invite the mind to consider other forms of perfection.

In time, with practice, the box of perfection will grow wider, and the door to enter the box will become bigger. One day, perhaps, the box will dissolve and the mind will, once again, connect with the absolute perfection in all of life’s experiences, sights, sounds, tastes, textures, and (yes) even smells.

As the wise philosopher Bruce D Schneider once shared, “Perfection means unique unto itself.” And when you look deep enough at all things, you will see that everything is unique unto itself.

No two snowflakes are the same.

Chapter 13 - A Force

In the story known as “Star Wars” there is a Force. This Force, according to the characters of this fantastic Universe, say that the Force is created by all living things. This Force energy passes through all and connects the entirety of the galaxy together. To utilize and leverage this Force power, individuals train and to learn how to interact with this energy. The gateway to this Force is, of course, the mind.

The story of the Force does not come from thin air (mild pun intended). Simply look around and see the true power of the Force...we mean...the mind (yet another pun).

Before any structure was built, before any computer program was written, before any instrument played a note, there was a thought. And that thought was generated by a mind.

The mind is a remarkably powerful force. According to some, it is the ultimate force of the Universe. Many believe that the fundamental energy at the core of all things is consciousness itself. And consciousness gives rise to the mind; the instrument of expressing consciousness.

Thoughts of the mind are required for the innovations and inventions of today. Without this power, none of these creations exist. Which is why, to some, Consciousness/Universe/Source is the energy capable of creating thoughts that give rise to all matter. If matter is condensed energy (as evident by Einstein’s famous equation E=mc2), then the energy behind matter is also thought-energy.

This is why the manifestation movement, along with positive thinking and other similar practices, have gained so much popularity over the years (though some would argue that these concepts have been around for thousands of years). Regardless, it is unquestionable to realize the sheer magnitude and power of the mind.

Is it any wonder why, once again, there are benefits to befriending this awesome force?

There are some who have forged deep relationships with other amazing powers. Some work with incredible amounts of machinery, electricity, workforces, powerful animals and so on. All of these require incredible respect.

How many truly respect the mind? Not many. And understandably so. When such an awesome force creates such devastating, unpleasant, and uncomfortable experiences, it may seem difficult, if not impossible, to befriend such a force. But it is possible. You can do it, if you choose to do so.

What does it mean to befriend such an impressive force? It begins with respect. The human mind has been around much longer than your current physical incarnation/lifespan. According to some scientists, a version of the human brain (thus the human mind) has thrived on this planet in excess of 3,000,000 years. A remarkable creation that, in and of itself, deserves applause. Much like the planet Earth (itself an impressive 4.5 million years in age). Being in the presence of the mind, experiencing it, watching it work is a miraculous feat.

But there is an interesting contradiction at this point. Can the mind be observed? There are some who believe that you cannot see the mind (much less befriend the mind) any more than you can see your own eyes or touch your finger with the same finger. Mind is infused with itself; one and the same. Can such an awesome force actually be befriended?

When you were young, you were told many things about the way the world works. Even the language used to describe the world was taught to you. All babies with the capacity to learn a language can learn any language in the world. They simply end up learning the language that they are most exposed to the most. So, too, it is with the mind. The capacity for the mind to experience itself is in relation to the ability it has to learn such a skill.

When you look in the mirror, you observe a reflection of yourself (if sight is available to you). When you pass by this mirror, an image is reflected back at you. This image, when processed by the eye creates a projection in the brain. The mind then gets to work processing this information through a lifetime of language, learning, and experiences. Judgements emerge.

Some people stare into the mirror and encourage themselves. They get as tall as possible and declare with passion “I can do it!” whatever “it” is related too (such as a job interview, presentation, sports performance, and so on). Others engage in this mirror talk in a self-deprecating way. They say or think words of discouragement, despair, and unpleasantness.

As the famous quote from Henry Ford goes, “Whether think you can or think you can’t — your right.”

The mind as a force is a concept that we all inherently experience, yet few are aware of this power.

To befriend the mind is to use this power to your advantage. Again, there is no requirement to do so, only an invitation. The mind as a force can be utilized to serve others, create art, science, technology, sustainability, balance, order, organization, flow, love, brilliance, and genius. Alas we exist in a reality of polarities. Just as the mind has the ability to be a force for “good” (for lack of a better word), it has the ability to create pain, harm, and despair. This may be why you are reading this book right now. Perhaps the force of the mind has created far too many uncomfortable and difficult experiences. And so you are seeking a solution. A new way to relate to and utilize the mind. Befriending the mind is, of course, one such approach of many. Find the approach that works best for you. And if you are still here at this point of our shared journey of learning and growth, perhaps befriending the mind may be exactly the approach that you have been looking for. And to that end, please know how much we honor, love, and cherish your blessed journey. And, in time, while on the path of befriending the mind, you, too, will experience the same honor, love, and desire to cherish your unique, once-in-all-of-creation journey, experience, and mind.

Chapter 14 - Death

The mind fears death. It will fight to the very end to keep its existence alive. This is a natural and inherent part of all life. There is a deep, programed, engrained desire to remain alive as long as possible to increase the chances of reproduction and propagation. When the mind contemplates death, or is in a situation where the physical body may be coming to an end, it, often, becomes frightened.

The mind, as you may notice, has the temperament of a young child. Some have called this aspect of the mind the “Basic Self,” the “little ‘s’ self,” or even the “id.” There is nothing small about this mind (re-read the Chapter 13 - Force for a reminder). When the mind is in the presence of death, its own mortality comes to the forefront.

There is a belief in the mind that once the physical end arrives, the mind disappears. To a large and certain degree this is true.

But as we mentioned, the mind has childlike tendencies. Embracing these tendencies as a friend, you begin to uncover how to support the mind in times of death. Now, death can come in many forms. The end of a job or career is considered a kind of death to the mind. The end of a relationship, program, schooling, business, home, and so on and so forth can all represent death energy to the mind.

How would you comfort a dear friend experiencing the fear and grief from death? There is no right or wrong answer here, but many could relate to solutions such as listening patiently or offering comfort in the form of presence – perhaps lightening the mood with a tasteful joke.

Your mind is a priceless treasure of the Universe. It is 100% within your power, and also within your best interest, to form a fruitful bond with this remarkable energy force. All of creation is energy. The mind is energy. Even friendship has its own unique vibration, frequency, and energy.

Be one with the mind. Love the mind. Encourage the mind. Support, cherish, and have fun with the mind.

In times of death and transition, opportunities emerge to reconnect with harmony, balance, grace, and peace. Not because you have to. Not because you need to. But simply because you can.

We feel incredible passion right now to convey these deep teachings. You are the force that you have been waiting for. You are the solution that you have been waiting for. The mind is a deep companion. A partner on your journey through the ever present moment, until the time the physical death arrives.

The fear of death and the mind’s attachment to avoiding death is remarkably normal. Think of a time when you lost something very dear and important to you. This could be a stuffed animal as a child, or a close friend or relative.

The mind knows how to grieve. The mind will almost always seek to avoid death. As a trusted friend of the mind (that is you), you are a source of light and comfort to the mind. And you may not feel that the mind deserves such treatment. The pain and suffering caused by the mind may be enough to keep you more than arm’s length away (of course, if your mind is more than arm’s length from your body, you may have more pressing matters to address).

The Law of Change shows that all things change. Death is a tool utilized by the Law of Change to create change. You will notice the mind’s ability to resist change. It will want to remain within status quo. Recognize the normalcy of this desire (much like the mind’s desire for perfection).

Explore the Law of Change, hand-in-hand, heart-in-heart with the mind. The one and true partner that remains with your physical body from birth to death.

The approach is simple but the practice may seem daunting.

Befriend the mind.

How? Set the intention. Utilize the force of the mind to support itself. Whatever the mind thinks, whatever emotions emerge as a result of the minds thoughts, judgements, opinions, ideas, insights, or innovations, welcome them with the open arms of absolute friendship.

Be unreasonably and unconditionally kind to your mind.

You will become the energy of unreasonable and unconditional kindness itself. This is who you will become. Who you are emerges from the energies within. Much like an instrument. It is capable of playing any notes within its range. Even though only some notes emerge through the act of playing, the potential to play all of the notes remains a part of its essence.

Set the intention and imagine that you have the potential within to be “unconditional kindness” itself. Allow this energy to fill you up and penetrate deep into your mind. Create the body of a life-long partnership. The mind is a wonder of nature. You are a miracle of nature. And while death in all of its forms will absolutely enter your experience, know that you have a brilliant friend waiting with you to embrace it (and all of life’s opportunities) together.

Chapter 15 - Heart

Befriending the heart is just as important, if not more important, than befriending the mind. In befriending the heart, you create a relationship unlike any other in your life. You find and connect with an energy source that is incredibly unique and powerful in this Universe. In befriending the heart, you create a connection of power between the mind, the heart, and the great conscious observer, which is you, of course.

When taking on the monumental task of befriending the mind, you allow yourself to be vulnerability itself. Connecting with the heart in the same way creates a kind of symbiosis that aligns the entire system of being a conscious human. Being a conscious human allows you to be and connect with additional energies which transform matter into energy, thoughts into reality, consciousness into manifestation at will. Those statements are all just a fancy way of saying that you have more influence over how the present moment comes to be than you may believe. Some see that as a great power that must be controlled or exploited to get what one “wants.” Fortunately, it does not really work that way. Manifestation, which has become very popularized, is now largely misunderstood and (attempted) to be misused. We will save manifestation for another book, perhaps. For now, back to the heart.

It is important to see the connection between the mind and the heart to fully appreciate the kind of raw and immense power that you then have access to utilize. Think of this as a friendly “warning label” before opening this conduit of energy.

The heart takes the energy of space, time, and universality into a unique and powerful expression unlike any other. The Universe has evolved from the point of super heated gas to now, in which humans experience emotions all the time, every day. This is an amazing feat of the Universe. And it remains a burden to most humans (much like the mind).

That is what inspires us to introduce this humble perspective. The primary goal of this book is to shift your relationship with your mind so that you see it as a great partner on the journey of your experience. The heart is, of course, also along for the same journey. And as you develop more comfort with being friendly to and with the mind, you will naturally develop the same kind of comfort with your heart.

In fact, much of the energy and thoughts that come to the mind are actually born in the heart. Certain thoughts emerge from the mind which, in turn, generates more emotional energy from the heart. As the author once observed: the mind is the translator of the heart.

The heart does not speak in words. Its only language is that of emotion. In order to conceptualize, understand, and create a shared language, it requires a partnership with the mind. By the very nature of befriending the mind, you begin to befriend the heart. They are quite close and connected. Even, so called, “logical” people still have a mind-heart relationship in play. It is just a different kind of relationship. Again, just as this book is intended to deliver, your relationship to mind and heart is entirely up to you. You get to chose the nature of this relationship (even though it often feels like the opposite most of the time). So many feel as if it is the mind and the heart, working together as great conspirators, that decide and define the fate of your wellbeing. In fact, it is quite the opposite. It is only the perspective on this connection between you, the mind, and the heart, that has been weakened or brought into question.

You are remarkably powerful. The mind and heart are remarkable allies on the journey of your human experience. Befriending these two, together, puts you in the driver’s seat of your experience. Now, this does not mean that you control what you think and feel all the time. Of course, you have the option and opportunity to influence your thoughts and emotions at will. If we ask you to think, “Hello” in your mind, you can do so. If we ask you to feel happy, assuming you are emotionally in a rather neutral state right now, you can do so on command. But life is not meant to be a constant direction by you to think specific thoughts or feel specific feelings. Befriending these two powerful sources of your being will naturally surface more pleasant thoughts and more pleasant emotions.

And that may be motivation enough to consider befriending the mind and the heart. But we invite you to consider a deeper motivation. The motivation of oneness.

You see, in your most natural state, you are the great witness and experiencer of your brilliant mind and your vast emotional heart. This state, this observer, which we discussed in earlier chapters, is the one energy behind, above, and supporting all other energy. Consciousness is, indeed, the pervasive force throughout all of the Universe. This force is you. You have the absolute birthright to experience this oneness.

Some may wonder, why have a mind or a heart in the first place? Is not transcending these things the way to this so-called oneness of consciousness? So many have claimed success in doing so, yes. Far many more have attempted and failed.

So let us take a different approach. Explore with us for a minute the purpose of the mind and the purpose of the heart. Why do these energies exist? Are they really nothing more than roadblocks to realizing your True Self? This is what many spiritual traditions teach (to a greater or lesser degree). Let us say that there is a different reason, a different purpose. What could it be?

What’s the purpose of a tree? To absorb carbon dioxide, produce oxygen, grow leaves, grow branches, create structures for nests, or be burned to create warmth? Certainly these are all things that trees do. It is in the nature of the tree to do these things. But why do trees do all of these things in the first place. We share with you now one very simple and fundamental purpose:

To exist.

The purpose of a tree is to exist. The purpose of a rock is to exist. The purpose of the aurora borealis is to exist. The purpose of the mind is to exist. The purpose of the heart is to exist. The purpose of you (in case you were wondering, and many people do) is to exist.

Simple. Elegant. Beautiful. And liberating. By knowing your purpose, how simple it is, and how universal it is, you can finally realize how connected you truly are to all of creation. Which means your mind is not a mistake. Your heart is not a mistake. There is nothing about you, anything, anywhere that is a mistake.

So let us be friendly. Friendly to yourselves. Friendly to your mind. Friendly to your heart. And reconcile once and for all the true beauty of yourself as a creation of the Universe with a humble purpose: to exist.

This opens the heart. This opens the mind. This opens yourself up to the great universal truths of existence.

Welcome dear friend. Know that we embrace you with the open arms of love in the same way that we invite you to embrace your mind, heart, spirit, soul, journey, humanity, neighbors, relatives, trees, rocks, bushes, sunglasses, everything.

Thank you for being on this journey of exploration with us. We are nearing the end, but we are not there quite yet. We have a couple of humble points to share. And we thank you, dear friend, for accompanying us on the this journey thus far already.

Love, light, and warm wishes to you.

Chapter 16 - The Beginning

All beginnings have an end, and all ending have a beginning.

This is the end of our journey together. Yet it is, hopefully, the beginning of your beautiful friendship with your mind.

Your mind belongs to you and to you alone. It is a mysterious gift of the Universe that has been bestowed onto you for reasons that no one understands (try as they might to explain it). Why you have a mind is far less interesting and productive than building a productive relationship with mind and utilizing it to imagine, explore, create, and build.

This is what you are here to do: to exercise the power of your mind, this remarkable ally, in order to manifest beauty into life. And it is all beautiful, by the way. All of it. All of creation.

Find an ant on Mars, and that will be the most famous ant ever regarded by human history. The tiniest microbe, the tallest trees, the perfectly imperfect neighbor, friend, enemy, spouse, stranger, unborn potential human, and all humans long since deceased. Miraculous. All of them. Just like you. And just like your mind.

You have an opportunity before you now. You have the choice available to decide exactly how you want to regard, communicate, utilize, and treat your mind. Your mind is perfectly unique to you. It belongs to both the Universe and you, which are, really, the same thing. Perfectly imperfect in all the perfect ways.

We hope that you celebrate your tremendous, remarkable, beauty as we do. We pray and praise constantly for your wellbeing, love, generosity and kindness. We regard you in the highest order. We are with you, always. Ready to enlighten. Ready to serve. Ready to connect.

Mind helps with this connection. Without mind, this author would not have the ability to express this wisdom using the written word. Mind allows that to happen. Mind inspired him to connect with our insights in the first place.

Mind imagines and your being, essence, and core manifest it into creation. This is a miracle. A single idea, shared with and by the mind, sets the energy in motion for creation. Now, we will not go into techniques for manifestation and such. There are plenty of other books and teachers on that topic. We are here now, together, to simply celebrate the birth of something beautiful: your true essence and core being existing in harmony with the mind that only you get to experience.

Once in all lifetime, once in all creation, once in all history partnership. This will no happen again. You, as the ‘I Am’ consciousness, will not connect with another mind like the one you have right now ever again. The mind is priceless. Irreplaceable. Irreplicable.

As treasured as the mind is, you are still in charge. Befriending the mind as a powerful partner has the ability to alter your life experience and shift you towards more feelings of happiness, peace, love, and joy. But you, the conscious YOU, the ‘I Am’ you, the ultimate self, the observer, is the one in “charge,” so to speak. And like any leader in charge, there are lots of ways to lead. You can lead by anger, demand, control, manipulation, and meanness. Or you can lead by example; with inspiration, support, guidance, unconditional love, and joy.

Lead this deep partnership and friendship. Love your mind. Be love itself as the core energetic signature of your being. And when you do, a new beginning is created. And then another. And then another. Each moment in which your essence is steeped in love it broadcasts its signal throughout the Universe. This is how the practice of astrology came to be: a realization of how the subtle energies of a single person and how the massive energies of the cosmos are connected; each having the ability to influence each other.

Begin here and now. Today. Befriend the mind, if you chose to do so. And if you do not chose to do so, know that you are supported, encouraged, and loved just the same. Perhaps  you will choose to befriend the mind at another time. Perhaps you will wait for a subsequent lifetime. Harmonizing consciousness and mind is a patient task. It is a “long game,” as some people enjoy saying.

Be with the mind. Love it. Honor it. Cherish it. And your conscious self will come into its true being. Its true self.

With these final words, we wish you all of the love, light, and warm wishes of the cosmos.

Enjoy your time with your new friend.

Peace.

EPILOGUE

By Tommy Acierno

I can't thank you enough for taking this remarkable journey with me. Every time I write through the process of channeling, I learn along the way, just as you do when you read these words.

As I shared the idea of this book with colleagues and friends, nearly every time I saw a sense of relief come to their face. Finally, here was an idea about working with the mind that didn’t require what appears to be a massive mountain of spirituality to climb.

Now, as mentioned in the earlier chapters, there is still plenty of time and opportunity to climb that mountain of spirituality to the top – a place that is described as “transcendent” of the mind. Or, more accurately, transcendent of attachment or having your consciousness be consumed by the contents of mind (like watching a really good movie).

I, personally, believe that my path is also to achieve that state of being where the random musings of the mind are noticed, celebrated, and then quickly released, just as quickly as they emerged.

But until I reach that point, I’m committed to practicing everything that has been written in these pages. The concept of befriending the mind gives me a sense of relief as well. It makes the path of transcendence and enlightenment more possible and realistic. Knowing that I can take smaller steps makes the whole experience that much more enjoyable and attainable.

This approach reminds me of a story.

When I was young I hated running; loathed it entirely. Any time I was forced to play sports, either in school, or after school with friends, I wanted to play the position that had the least amount of running.

American football? Quarterback.

Roller hockey? Goalie.

Futbol/Soccer? Goalie.

Ugh! Did not like it. In fact, I almost didn’t graduate High School because I needed to test out of P.E. (i.e. Physical Education) – I took too many band classes and forgot about the core requirements. P.E. was one of those requirements. I did everything I needed to test out: the pull ups, the sit ups, the multiple choice test. But when I had to run a mile in 7:30 (which is pretty damn fast mile), I couldn’t come close. Thank goodness for correspondence corses, or else I would have had to postpone my graduation.

Twenty years later, and then I discovered two books that changed everything:

Born to Run by Christopher McDougall and ChiRunning by Danny Dreyer.

Both books shifted my perspective about running and, more importantly, my relationship with running. The book Born to Run makes a compelling case that humans used slow, long distance running as a hunting strategy (humans are capable of running for a much longer period of time compared to our fellow land-based mammals). Running is, arguable, part of the core human design and survival.

And then ChiRunning taught me how to use gravity, relaxation, posture, and observing the brilliance of children (again) by how they run. Few people are taught how to run. If you are able-bodied, it’s assume that you know how.

Our relationship with the mind is very much the same. It’s assumed that everyone knows how to deal with their mind because everyone has one. That is, until a book comes along – hopefully this book – that says, “hey there’s a different way than just doing things by default; a way that can be more effortless and more enjoyable.”

And now, I regularly run the distance if a half-marathon every week (and sometimes more). It’s a lovely experience for me. I’m amazed at how far my body can move using the simplest of tools...just a pair of shoes and comfortable clothes.

So now you and I have a new perspective, a new approach, that also uses the simplest of tools: your conscious intention.

As we practice befriending the mind together, it’s my sincerest hope that all of us experience more amazement, more joy, more fun, more positive “mental exercise,” which leads to collectively increasing the energy and friendships around us.

A lot of my work focuses on transforming myself and others from the inside out. As you befriend your mind, you’ll naturally improve all of your relationships. You’ll have more patience and compassion for spouses, partners, friends, family, children. And then you’ll be friendlier to strangers, your car, your home, the whole Earth, and even the Universe itself!

So enjoy your new friend, the mind.

May you have wondrous, exciting, curious, and amazing adventures together.

About The Author

Tommy Acierno

Chief "Energy" Officer and Founder of 'Tommy Acierno Coaching,' he helps successful leaders reconnect with fulfillment by inspring them to discover profound answers to their deepest questions and ignite lasting fulfillment.

He has over 20 years of leadership experience working for companies such as the National Center for Atmospheric Research (NCAR), Trimble, Google, and the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC). As a Lead Trainer for iPEC, he has also helped to develop hundreds of new professional coaches.

Tommy holds certifications as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) by the International Coaching Federation (ICF), Certified Professional Coach (CPC), and Energy Leadership Index Master Practitioner (ELI-MP) from iPEC.

Praise For Author

What a lovely piece! Feels like coming home.

- Alexandra Bowen

Tommy is a wonderful, creative and collaborative human being. He is a joy to have on any team, not because he follows your culture, but because he leads your culture. As a marvelous coach with witty and eye-opening observations he will listen carefully and offer new perspectives both in business and in life.

- Simone Noordegraaf, RA, PCC

As a visionary, Tommy is able to see what’s possible and apply the tangible practices necessary to make that vision a reality–all with a supportive, flexible, and servant-hearted style of leadership. Always willing to explore unconventional approaches and opportunities, Tommy brings his whole heart and soul to the table, building connection and unity wherever he goes.

- Elise Park,  CPC, ACC | COR.E Wellbeing™ Specialist

Before I started working with Tommy I was feeling confused and lacked confidence about certain aspects of my business. Tommy listened deeply, asked thoughtful questions, and helped me shift my energy and perspective in a way that left me feeling empowered and optimistic about the future. Each session I came away with some great ideas to move my life and my business forward, but more importantly, Tommy helped me unleash the energy and confidence to turn my ideas into action and results! I am a more resilient person and entrepreneur because of my work with Tommy.

- Sean Reid, Founder and President of Arrowhead Coaching and Facilitation Solutions

Working with Tommy has been such an eye opening experience! Through his methods & experience he was able to make a huge impact on my mindset and the way I respond to external events. I am now more mindful and aware of the level of consciousness in which I operate from. And, this new level of awareness has given me the ability to show up as a CEO of my own company from a different head space. Tommy is truly a blessing and a delight to work with, his vibrant energy can be felt through the screen! I would recommend anyone who is looking for long lasting change to work with him!

- Marianna Teudor

Books By This Author

The Book of the Dead (and Instantaneous Rebirth!): Your Guide to Personal Freedom, Love, and Living in Flow

Through a series of experiments connecting with his higher consciousness, author Tommy Acierno discovers an ability to channel deep wisdom from a collection of unseen sages. Tommy poses questions to these masters of knowledge and the words literally come out his typing fingers and onto the page.

While asking for guidance on things like career and life purpose, Tommy eventually asks, "what wisdom would you like me to share with others?"

The answer is this book.

Together, readers get direct access into the highest levels of wisdom and consciousness so that we understand the nature of reality itself, the interplay of birth and death, and how, through it all, the limitless personal freedom that comes from unconditional love and living in flow.